From the Inside Flap
An explosive and highly charged tale of love, lies and celebrity.
Angel Summer looks as if she has found her happy ever after. She’s married to the love of her life, sexy footballer Cal, they have a beautiful baby girl and Angel is Britain’s top glamour model. But all is not as it seems and there is heartache in store.
When Cal is transferred to AC Milan, instead of embracing the WAG lifestyle of designer shopping and pampering, Angel feels isolated being so far away from her family and friends. Surrounded by beautiful people, will Angel and Cal pull together or will they turn elsewhere to seek comfort? Things only get more complicated for Angel when an old flame of Cal's comes back on the scene and suddenly Angel is fighting to save her marriage, and herself.
Thank god summer is only half over and I still have time to relax in the hammock and read Katie “Jordan” Price’s latest page-turner. I don’t know if she has a million monkeys working on a million typewriters, but she seems to be able to crank out a new book every other month.
I guess all that furious typewriting explains why she doesn’t have time to shop for decent clothes to wear to a book launch. Maybe it’s the traditionalist in me, but I don’t think you can be taken to seriously as an author when you show up to a book signing looking like a cross-dressing reject from a Cher video. But then again, BOOBS!
Friday, July 18, 2008
Claire Danes is skinnier than me
This is Claire Danes in a bikini. I say it like that because I am sure lots of you might be thinking “Damn, the Donkey is drunk again and dressed up a lamp in a bikini”. Sure, you would be right on the drunk part, but nope, that is Claire Danes - a person - not a lamp pole. I am also doubling up on my usual number of pictures because it would take at least 2 Claire Danes to add up to the kind of junk I like ... see yesterdays post about Kim Kardashian!
I am starting to think that it might be some sort of geo-thermal anomaly in Hollywood that causes all these women to have excessive internal gravity and they end up collapsing in on themselves. Maybe it’s just me, but I enjoy hamburgers topped with cheese and fried eggs too much to ever be less than 250lbs.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Reggie Bush thinks Kim Kardashian is fat
Kim Kardashian became famous for her bodacious booty - but her man wants to trim some of the junk in her trunk. A source tells Page Six that Kardashian has been working out extra hard these days at the request of her boyfriend, New Orleans Saint Reggie Bush. "He's been pushing her to work out hard," said our source. Sunday, Kardashian was overheard telling a friend at the opening of FUSE nightclub in Nashville that Bush made her run the dunes at Manhattan Beach in California. - New York Post
Anybody who thinks Kim Kardashian is fat has not been spending much time doing Saturday shopping at their local Walmart. Sure she isn’t built like a tent pole as is all the rage in Hollywood these days, but I am tired of these overly skinny women, and the bruises on my stomach from their under-padded pelvic bones. Plus, last time I looked Reggie Bush didn’t have a Superbowl ring so who is he to criticize anyone.
I guess that is hypocritical of me. I am a big fat no one and the only trophy I ever got was for “Participant” in my Grade 2 activity day. Sure I might have got more awards (and an education) if I had stayed in school past grade 2, but I had things to do and celebrities to criticize for my ever growing fan base – there are 7 of you now! Any more and I might have to join that SAG thingy ...
Megan Fox is a Fattie
I should have toned up for 'Transformers' but I’m really lazy. I had to put on weight. I’d lost a lot of weight and got really scrawny, but I was told I had to put on size for 'Transformers' because Michael [Bay, the director] doesn’t like skinny girls.
I would love to do a movie naked – it would be beautiful. No one dares make that kind of film today. They did it in the 1930s in an arty way, so why not now? - FOX News
So Michael Bay doesn't like skinny chicks? Know what else Michael Bay doesn't like? Movies with a coherent story line, a basic plot or decent acting ... but I digress ...
I am not going to argue with Michael Bay on this one, Megan Fox could stand to gain a few pounds. Sure she just shed 165 pounds of useless fat when she dumped Brian Austin Green, but a few extra inches and some curves and “Transformers 2 : Giant Robot Boogaloo” could be a bigger hit than the first one. And by "bigger hit" I mean that I might actually be able to watch it with lusty eyes and not feel like some sort of old perv. Now I am not saying that I am not an old perv, I just don't like it when the Sorority Girls accross the street spray paint it on my house.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Jessica Simpson loves herself ... and so do I
Ah the dog days of summer have set in. All my usual favourite celebrities have traded in the all night parties for all day suntan sessions. I don’t really mind, because I can work just as much with a picture of Jessica Simpson in a bikini as I can with some B-lister falling down drunk. Some of you can work with it even more perhaps? I don’t know and I don’t want to know.
There really isn’t much to report. Seriously, it’s just Jessica Simpson sitting around on a yacht, sun-tanning. I mean sure, you and me have to go to work in our dirty backroom sweat shops without air conditioning or even a window for ventilation, but that’s what happens when you aren’t born beautiful. Well, I was born beautiful, but years of burrito abuse and the slightly toxic body odour from Manuel over there have turned me into a 450 pound land monster.
